One year ago I set a goal to go 2,020 miles in 2020. I knew a lot of that would come from training for the three half marathons I had planned and the 29029 event, but I didn't have a goal to run 2,020 miles, just to go that distance. At an average 5.5 miles per day, I knew this would require a general increase in daily activity. My real hope was that the goal would motivate me to get up from my desk more, take more evening walks, and play longer with the kids. At first, it worked. I was walking more just to get out of the house, but eventually I fell into a funk. The marathons and 29029 events were cancelled. I became consumed with all of the insanity that was this year and I was not making healthy choices, mentally or physically.
By August, I was determined to get back to the goal. I was back to walking more and decided 10 minutes on my new Horizon IC7.9 was worth one mile toward my 2,020 goal. I tried to make up for lost time, but I still failed.
Spoiler alert: its the last day of 2020 and I am 139 miles short of my goal.
Almost every part of me hates that I failed, especially because I came so close. My mind rattles through the analytics and negative self talk. I was short by less than half a mile per day. I wasn't even working for 1/3 of the year. How did I not make time to meet this goal?
Thats what, almost, every part of me says.
As the realization has set in that I wouldn't meet my goal, I've tried to reflect and reframe my perspective this week. In doing so, I've found a little part of me that's gotten stifled this year. A kind and gentle inner voice that finds so much to be thankful for even in my failure.
I chased a neighbor down the street so that I would not have to walk alone. That turned into a habit (the walking together, not the chasing). Through those steps and the miles, I gained a friendship that I am eternally grateful for.
I also found a new community on my bike. I thought Peloton was a cult, and maybe it is, but it's mine now, and I'm grateful for a place to sweat while my littles are in the house.
I spent a lot of time in counseling. It started before the pandemic, but I am SO THANKFUL I had that outlet to process all that happened through the year. Now I leave this year with the confidence to know that, regardless of the stigma, getting help is a positive thing.
I did not meet this specific goal, but this year was not a failure. With my half marathons and 29029 event rezchedule, 2,021 in 2021 is a go! Join me?